


fine

by satyrgod



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: pre-game, suicide warning, this is Past Josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 07:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8153554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satyrgod/pseuds/satyrgod
Summary: The cycle ends today.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write about my Joshua headcanons and then this happened....... We poppin' the biggest bottles for TWEWY 2 making all of this horrifically off base for what Joshua's backstory ACTUALLY is.
> 
> Also! About the title... Fine is a musical term for the end of a movement/composition... I thought it suited Joshua.

‘Monotonous’ is the best way Joshua can think to describe his life. Suffocating, mind-numbing, _boring_.

Everyday is the same. Wake up, do schoolwork, practice piano, sleep; the cycle repeats nigh endlessly. The only time there’s any change is when his parents drag him off somewhere so they can show off their genius prodigy son.

As if they actually care. As if they even have anything to do with him on a day to day basis. Josh can’t even recall the last time he had a conversation with his parents that wasn’t about his grades or his music.

But, well, he can’t blame them for not caring about him. Does he have any right to be upset if he doesn’t care about them either? Really… Josh doesn’t care about anyone. Or anything. He thinks if his mother and father gave up on him he might just do nothing until he rots.

A part of him wonders if he’s pathetic for having no friends, but the larger portion of him knows there’s no point. Why force yourself to get along with people who will never entertain you? Josh knows all this life is going to give him is the role of a background character, and he won’t stand for it.

The cycle ends today.

He turns over the gun in his hands, wondering if this will even work. Mr. H. never told him what happened to people who killed themselves. Can they even enter the game? Will they just be deemed unfit and cast into nothingness?

 _Either way_ , he thinks, unable to suppress the bitter laugh that escapes him, _it would definitely be better than where I’m at now_.

He wonders how his parents plan to make a profit on his death. They’ll probably start some cause for him, some sort of fund or charity, something to do with his music, he’s sure. He wishes he could delete every trace of his existence, because thinking of all the people who are going to pretend to care is _nauseating_. The fact that, if all goes according to plan, he’ll have to watch what everyone plans to do about his death is also absolutely sickening to him.

It must be possible to make it as if he never existed. The composer has absolute power, doesn’t he? Deleting one person shouldn’t be that difficult, and Josh won’t rest until he has his fresh start. His new life. His freedom. His _dream_.

The weight of the gun brings him back to reality, and he stares at it, wondering why he’s stalling. The fact that he’s trembling shows him that a small part of him is _scared._ He shuts his eyes and exhales deeply, trying to calm himself down.

He’s set on this. He’s planned this. There is no way he’s going to back down now.

He doesn’t need anyone. He doesn’t need this life. He needs power, he needs excitement, and he finally has a way to have it.

Even if he died trying, it would be the only time he really felt alive anyway.

He raises the gun, ignoring his heart thumping away in his chest, pushing down the thought that these would be the last heartbeats he’d ever have.

He fits the gun into his mouth, trying to focus on his new future, and before he can over think himself into backing down, he pulls the trigger.


End file.
